1. Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants-they do not govern.
3. The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
4. Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-Anon or AA as a whole.
5. Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of AA ourselves, by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics.
6. Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should always co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous.
7. Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8. Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.

People who go to ACA meetings are looking for someone to listen to them. Quite often, they try multiple ways in their lives to be heard, yet they never really are. They struggle to find meaning in their lives. They try to find happiness in many different places, yet, they never do.

When you go to an ACA meeting, your voice is heard; perhaps for the first time in your life. The people there aren't looking to “fix” you. They don't have the answers to all your problems, and they don't claim to. At the end of the meeting a common theme prevails - “Keep Coming Back.” You're encouraged to keep coming to meetings because it will help you. If you're willing to believe it, you'll see exactly what they mean.

You won't be judged when you go to an ACA meeting. The people there understand that everyone has their own story. You're all there to support one another, no matter what you may be facing in your personal lives.

ACA meetings are open to men and women who grew up in alcoholic homes. Sometimes, people attend these meetings when their homes were dysfunctional in other ways. The organization was founded on the belief that family dysfunction is more like an infectious disease. That infection was apparent during childhood, and it can continue to be into adulthood.

During the meetings, the 12 Steps are practiced, and participants also focus on the ACA Solution. The ACA Solution is simple - to become your own loving parent. If you are willing to go through this process, ACA might be a good place for you. The experience of having an alcoholic parent is quite traumatic for many people. You may have a lot of healing to do. However, this organization can help you accomplish it.

People who grow up in alcoholic homes are plagued with issues of denial, in most cases. Alcoholism is present within the home, but there is no admitting it. It's held as a deep secret in most cases. As a result, it becomes a long-term family secret that no one wants to acknowledge. That can lead to all kinds of internal turmoil and pain.

According to Psychology Today, these children grow up with three rules - don't trust, don't feel and don't talk. Children are taught that in order to survive, they must suppress their emotions. They learn to deny the reality that lies all around them. Because of this, they struggle with talking about the meaningful parts of their lives.

Additionally, children of alcoholics often suffer from compulsions, depression and anxiety. They endure severe traumatic stress, and they often have control issues. It's very difficult for them to separate the past from the present.

Janet Geringer Woititz, who is the founder of the Adult Children of Alcoholics movement lists 13 traits. They are:

1. Not being able to guess what normal behavior is.
2. Having problems with following a project from beginning to end.
3. Lying when it would be easy to tell the truth.
4. Judging themselves without mercy.
5. Finding it hard to have fun.
6. Taking themselves too seriously.
7. Struggling with intimate personal relationships.
8. Overreacting to changes in their lives that they have no control over.
9. Constantly seeking affirmation and approval from others.
10. Feeling as though they are different from others most of the time.
11. Being either very responsible or very irresponsible, with no middle ground.
12. Remaining extremely loyal, even when that loyalty is undeserved.
13. Being very impulsive, regardless of the consequences of their actions.

If you're the child of an alcoholic, you probably relate to many on this list. It's so important for you to get the help you need. Recovery isn't just for alcoholics. Those who have been touched by the disease of alcoholism often need to recover as well. It may take some time, but it will be time well-spent.